It will be okay again… eventually.

I am struggling.

This year has been rough.

At this time last year, I was half through my #last90dayschallenge and I was killing it! I was up every morning, doing my workouts, drinking all the water, being grateful, feeling positive, looking forward to our honey moon trip, setting big audacious goals, … all of it. 

Yes, I was busy and I’m sure there were days when I was “exhausted” but nothing like I am now. Nothing like the mental and emotional exhaustion of today. 2020 kicked my ass. I don’t mean to complain, especially knowing that 2020 has treated so many others so much worse than me. But my hard is not negated because someone else hard is harder. 

So instead of beating myself up for only running 3 or 4 days a week instead of 7, or not resisting that piece of Halloween candy, or not having my 1st quarter business goals started yet… I’m giving myself grace. 

In this season, I don’t need hard workouts and big goals. In this season, I need some stillness. I need some reflection. And I need grace. I will be proud when I get up at 5 and run and check all the things off my daily to do list and clean the house and do all the things. And I will balance that out with a day to sleep in later than 6am and stay in pajamas all day. And I will take time to breath and quiet my mind. 

I almost skipped my first yoga class tonight because I have soooooo much work and I shouldn’t “waste a whole hour when I could be working.” I am so glad I didn’t! I had no idea how much I needed it.

Why do we always do that though?! Why do we feel like an hour for ourselves is “a waste” or that we “don’t have time for that? Is there some kind of award for being the biggest martyr? If we don’t make time for ourselves, our physical, mental and emotional well being… the universe is going to make it for us. 

Let’s make it ok for us to take care of us. Let’s be ok with saying “I’m struggling” or “I need help” cause we’ve all been there! It’s ok to not be ok, as long as you know, it WILL be ok again!  Til then, maybe try some yoga?!

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